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heh some people are so dumb! [22 Jun 2004|11:27pm] [ mood | sleepy ] -- Below was my away message -- and all i know is you`re cute // when you scream * cig break * tampon change eek! aaron:I'll stick to heart<3ing you ^ if you hate him as much as me leave me a message that says !!! I do !!! Sabrina-- I dont want a job <3kate one hott one :-* -- Below is replies -- Samantha: I DO I DO DO I DO I DO!!!!! Danielle: uh I want to slice him (!!! I do !!!) Kelly: i HATE AARON! Haylie: I want to chop his balls off i hate him so much KrisTOEfurr: he eerks me .. FAGGOT.. I </3> *_* Today *_* </center> I woke up at like 11:30. When I woke up samantha Had left already ): I didn't get to say good bye. I watched Anthony. Kellen Called <3 * get butterflies* I watched Jerry Springer. Kellen called yet again looking for his keys *bigger butterflies* I cleaned my bedroom and looked for his keys. I have been appointed to do "jesus freaks" layout. Woot Woot. <3 Ugh. I had a doctors appointment at 6. I recieved some not so hott news. But It's okay I'm working on that issue. I came home. Ate dinner. (: Tatie Called. I talked to her. I miss her ): It felt good to talk to her. (: ugh. went outside for a cig break. Came in Watched Summerland<3 Came back to the comp Aaron asked me out. RAWR I really DO NOT LIKE HIM! I said no, he called me.. I biotched him out. Wohoo go Katie. I came back to my comp at 10. I got sick. Went to the bathroom ): ugh. Talked to sammy <3 and some other REALLY cool people that i love<3 i love all my friends<3 Now I'm updating this. as i *yawn*. I believe it's time to go to bed. That shall be all. kthnx <3kate One VERY Hott One <3

(: <3 (: <3 (: [21 Jun 2004|10:59pm] [ mood | sore ] x   i dont want to feel this way forever x   a dead letter marked return to sender Yeah so this weekend / monday was the bomb shizzy<3 *_*  Friday *_* sucked major at first. I was all " I want Kellen" "I love him" "lets go cry" blah blah blah mood. Then things started to look up (: I went to the movies with Samantha<3 Uhhhh we did NOT want to see a movie. so we hung out. Went to  burger king.The most fat free place in the world huh? Yeah we made fun of this HOE! named GABBY! I hate her with a passion <//3. We bought a cam. took pictures. went to the car show.. took some more pictures... in front of a hippie mobile (: heh MY DREAM CAR! not!  hmm ran into Jill, Lori, Irene and two other wierd chicks. We did this contest. Were you had to get the ball  in the hat. we all got one except SAM! haha miss gracefull. uhh hung out with those girls. Took a pictures of RYAN GOES *drools* and Josh. me and sam were pretending to be gay<3. uh. then 10 rolled around and and I went with g*unit back home. OOOH yess... I also saw Brandie (: i miss that girl! *_* Sat *_* I woke up took a shower. Took my father out to breaky for fathers day<3 uhh came back. Sam came over. Josh - Kathy - Jon came by. Ugh. me no like Jon. He wanted to eff me *eww* *thinks i should puke now* yeah He got burnt (; Acess Denied. *SMILES BIG*  uhh Sam got bored she didn't really Like Josh or Jon at first. but after awhile she liked Josh not jon. My brother from another mother. Me - Josh - Jon went fishing I caught a fish (:  We made a fire...Sam and Jeff  came back <33 sat by the fire.. Jumped on the trampoline...Jeff lefted. Daddy and Kathy went to bed. The rest of us watched American Pie<3. Sam went to bed at 1 am. I stayed outside and talked to Josh and Jon till 4 am. heh Then I went to bed. *_* Sunday *_* I had to wake up at like 9:10 rawr! get ready and go out to breaky yet again for father's day. JOsh me and Jon were soo sleepy. Agh I thought I was going to roll over and pass out ): My sandwich sucked.We came back to my house. Called Jeff. WEnt to get sam some more clothes. Called Kellen *gasp I have the biggest crush on him* to see if he wanted to come up and hang out. HE DID (: As we were driving back to the school Jeff and Sam had a spat. /-: eek. It scurred me. Then we went to the school. Jeff let me drive<3 nice brother bear. We got Kellen... Went to Burger King, He got fired, We got him some cigs. Kellen was mucho angry. Then we came back up to my house. Kellen went for a drive in the car to try to learn how to drive standard. (: Ugh. We came back. Ordered a pizza.Decided we didn't want it, so we went to Miki D's and yeah canceled our order and uh got our pizza. Then we got back to my house and decided we wanted to go on picnic (: so we went to the pond thing. Played truth or dare. Went back to my house... decided we wanted to go to the drive ins. Went to Jeffs to get the radio..then back to Kellens he needed to get money. Then we went to Price Chopper and I got Kellen something to drink because he was thirsty. We drove to Broadalbin. The movies at that drive ins were really gay. So we drove to Palantine Bridge. We made it to the second show. Which was Dodge Ball. Sam and Jeff layed in the car. Kellen and I sat together outside under blankets(: He tried to Kiss me at first and I was so unsure. I didn't want him to kiss me because yeah. Then we went back to watching the movie. Looked up at the stars and they were oh so pretty... Then Kellen and I kissed and all that good stuff how romantic heh. blah blah blah.. we went to the Palantine Bridge Price Chopper.. Got some snickers <3 yumm. We ALL came back to my house to spend the night. We stayed outside Then we came in at like 2:30 Kellen and I layed in my dads bed for a little bit I didn't feel good and I just got my period so I was falling asleep and yeah he went into the room where he was supposed to sleep and Sam and I went to bed. *_* Today / Monday *_* I woke up at 12:45. Went for a four wheeling ride with Kellen. Came back Watched Rikki Lake for a wee bit. Went and layed down with Kellen. We did role playing. He was him and I was his boss Tia. Then yeah we left at 2:30 to go to Burger King and wait for Kellen. He got his job back (: Then we dropped him.. Jeff drove me and Sam home. We took at napp from 3:30 - 6:30 wow. * I is a sleepy head * Uhh we woke up to Jeff and Jen. We hung out in my room for a little bit then the 4 of us went out to the trampoline and Jumped around. They Lefted at 8:14 and Sam and I came inside ate. Then went on a walk During our walk we walked by some cows and talked to them fed em', named em' and made friends with them <3 I love my Cows <3 We had a really deep talk about boys, our families, etc... We returned at 10:30 we were being stupid, Then Sam called Jeff and I started updating it and NOw I'm looking at my lava lamp and thinking th bubbles look like blue berries and I have butterflies in my tummy. Ugh that shall be all... ta ta... kthnx <3kate       One Hott One <3

I need a tissue for my issue <//3 [18 Jun 2004|12:11pm] [ mood | Hardly getting by ): <//3 ] "I'm sick of always hearing all those sad songs on the radio all day it is there to remind an oversensitive guy that he is all alone, ya. I hate our favorite restuarant, our favorite movie, our favorite show. We would stay up all through the night, we would laugh and get high - never answer the phone. I can't forgive, can't forget, can't give in - what went wrong? cause you said this was right.. you fucked up my life. im sick of always hearing sappy love songs on the radio. this place its fucking cursed and its plauged and i can never escape when my heart it explodes I can't forgive, can't forget, can't give in - what went wrong? cause you said this was right.. you fucked up my life. I'm kicking out fiercely at the world around me, what went wrong? I'm kicking out fiercly at the world around me, what went wrong? I'm kicking out fiercly at the world around me, what went wrong? I'm kicking out fiercly at the world around me, what went wrong? I'm kicking..." *_* ^ Blink182, What Went Wrong. ^ *_* All i need and Want.... Okay... I'm just going to spill my heart out beacause it's killing me ): Yeah, Jeff and Samantha Broke up and NOw they're getting back together. And you know. I keep wishing and praying. And trying to be a trooper. But this break up thing, I HATE IT! I know I'm so pathetic. But it's just something i can't help. Like I've never loved anyone like I love kellen. And it's killing me. I hate having to go to bed knowing he's not with me, and knowing he's going to be with someone else. I mean yeah that sounds kind of selfish. I know. I hate it, I'm usually not a selfish person. But I don't know. I keep trying to let go. Trying to move on and get over it. I mean I went out with Jon to try and forget about my pain. I dumped him and hurt him within like 4 hrs. How bad is that. Then The same night Alex came over, and I fooled around with him to try to forget what was going on. That didn't work. I ended up hurting yet one more person, and hurting myself even more.I can't get this pain that i'm having to go away. And you know what I HATE IT. Now there's certain things that's going on with my mom and I don't know how I'm going to get through it. I don't know why this is happening to me. I seriously don't like it. And yeah I am being really gay about this entire thing. But i don't know what else to do. Everything's just hitting me all at once. and I can't handle it. I don't have the answers. I don't know what I'm doing, It seems whenever I'm in pain I make stupid decisions. and I don't know how to stop myself.It's like I'm begining to do everything I did at Fonda only with A different topic. Instead of my parents getting divorced, I'm just getting dumped and loosing the ONE PERSON i have ever loved. And it looks like I'm going down yet another self distrutive rode. And you know what I can't go down a rode like that again. I honestly can't go back to the Drugs, the drinking, the hXc cutting. I couldn't pull myself out of that hole again.Crying doesn't work. ugh. I just fon't know what to do any more. All i know is I'm dying inside. And my heart is just dying. kind of stupid over a boy huh? yeah I know. But you have no idea what I would do to just have one more night with kellen. There's so many things I would say / do. I don't think I'd ever ask for another thing. I swear to God I wouldn't. Oh well. I'm just going to have to take it day by day and just see what happens ): Gosh I hate being unsure of the future. I really do. Ugh. I don't want to post this. But since I typed it all and it's for once how i truely feel. I'm not going to cut it. ... is Kellen ugh.... Tonight-* I'm going to the movies with samantha<3 then she's coming back here to spend the night. Then yeah. I'll post when I get back or tomorrow morning. that's shall be all. kthnx <3kate. ihateboys,ihateboys,ihateboys,ihateboys! theyaresodumb,theyaresodumb,theyaresodumb,theyaresodumb! theydon'tknowwhattheyhaveuntilitsgone... fuckallboysthatwalkthisearth ihateyouall!</strong></p> ps- I love Samantha Lynn Duesler<3 </p>

[18 Jun 2004|10:11am] Tell me about your first kiss....: - *

They way he made me fall in love. <//3 [17 Jun 2004|03:14pm] [ mood | heart broken<//3 ] Ugh.. I'm so mad at Alex at the moment. Last night he came over about nine. he only stayed for like an hour. Lets just say I got mad at him and he left. I don't think I'll be talking to him for awhile. (: Today was all right... I woke up at 8:30. Jeff came up. WE hung out and stuff till 10 then we went to Price Chopper and to pick up Sam and Kellen. But when we got there Kellen was going to go with Jamie. So yeah it was just me sam and jeff. We went back to my g*units. Then we mad some pizza. And Sam tought me how to drive which was the bomb shizzy<3. I'm not very good at it. heh. WE came back to the house for a wee bit. I broke down. Because yeah Kellen<//3 I'm soo heart broken at the moment. I don't know what i did wrong. and why this Gabby girl is better than me. I just don't get it. It hurts a lot. And the sad is I want him back. ugh. I HATE THIS. But thank the lord Samantha was here to calm me down. I love her<3 After I was calm down I went driving again. I almost got in an accident. it was horrible. But yeah we came back to my house. cleaned up the mess. Now I'm waiting for sam and jeff to get back because they went to get sam some more clothes. Then later on I'm going with Sam and Jeff. and yeah I'll probly come home. Take my med. and go to bed. that's all k thnx <3kate

what you see is what you get. [16 Jun 2004|03:14pm] [ mood | depressed ] Ugh. Okay I've been realizing things that are making me so angry. Like I'm changing A LOT. and I don't like it. I have to find myself and be the old kate that I use to be. it's going to be a challenge. ): but now it's time for me to grow up and learn how to deal. I'm a strong girl I can handle it.It's just going to take some time. ): *_* Today *_* I went with Jeff today around 9:30. We went got gas. Went to Price Chopper. Picked Some flowers. Went to the school and picked up Kellen and Sam.We went to Rotterdamn mall. We played Tag, and had a contest to see who got the most hugs.I won (: We came back to my house . Kellen made eggd, toast, and Bacon. I had toast. Then we all went riding. Came instead tried to kill sandy by over feeding her. Played spin the bottle /-: heh. Gosh I felt so bad. I saw Sam and Kellen kiss oh my god. I melted ): I was like "kate it's a game" I think that's what got me through it. And also thinking "we're not together"   So yeah. They left. I cleaned up our mess we made.Talked to Alex on the phone ): ugh. I feel like such a hoe. I went through 3 guys yesterday. Kellen. Jon. and Alex. and I just don't know what to be. I don't think there is EVER going to be anything between me and Alex. I just couldn't Allow it. It's not right. my Kelly likes Him. And Danielle likes Jon. So those two guys are most deff. OUT. heh. So yeah, I think I'm just going to have to find away to stop being a slut., well I'm not a slut, but the last two days, I feel like I have been. Ugh. Now I'm on the phone with jeff. We're crying together. yeah uh it's horrible. I HATE THIS! I'm just not good at it. It's just a boy. why does it matter to me so much. I mean yeah I love him. I just hate break ups. I seriously do, i mean there's so many mixed painful feelings.Ugh. I want him so bad. Oh well. ): x ): x ): that shall be all. oh wait! I LOVE SAMANTHA LYNN I LOVE JEFF GLENN I LOVE KELLEN MICHAEL I LOVE DANIELLE RENEE I LOVE KELLY ALLISON I LOVE JOYCE ANN (: <3 (: <3 (: <3 (: <3 (: <3 (: mmkay i'm done now k thnx. <3kate.

I'm lost in you. and i can't find myself again. [15 Jun 2004|10:54pm]                                         that pic just explains so much at the moment i just had to post it. k night *kISs*

My mom and dad have the best coke. [15 Jun 2004|10:47pm] [ mood | hopeful ] Today was good... I wike up at around 8:20. I went with the g*unit Babysat anthony. Came home Kellen and I broke up. I cried for like 3 mins. Pulled myself together... I was happy for the rest of the day. I talked to my friends. I talked to Jeff the most because him and sam broke up as well. Made my plans for tomorrow. (: I'm sad that steve can't come ): Uh Jon asked me out. I said "yes" we just broke up. so I got rid of two boyfriends in one night,Go me. The sadness is just starting to hit me. Now I'm going to go to bed. Good night guys<3 <3kate

PUBLIC I'M SORRY I FUCKED UP! [14 Jun 2004|09:14pm] [ mood | guilty ] shortstack***:Cheer up kate x by my her0in x: Am I a hoe? Shortstack***: no! shortstack: either am I x be my her0in x: you just cheered me up x be my her0in x: i love you meg. shortstack***: YaY <3 ^ it's insane how much i love her. Samantha Lynn-* Yes this time i did fuck up. I can admitt that. I had no right to do what i did. At first it was all fun and games. But then things picked up. Me and Kellen had no right to do what we did. And I am honestly sorry. You trusted me and I just threw it away. I should start thinking before i do things. I'm truely sorry,but hun ks-4e must live on. Lets not let this bump mess us up. I sorry. And I didn't realize how much I love you or our friendship until it was gone. I'll talk to you on AIM... I love you Samantha.<3 Stevie Wonder-* What I also did to you was so way wrong. Like i said ^ there I didn't plan on it being like that things just escolated ): I don't want to loose you as a friend. I'm sorry. I swear to god I'm sorry. Also like I said up there I never knew I cared so much about the friendship we were having until it's gone. Please Forgive me. I'm deeply sorry. I love you Stevie Wonder<3. *_* I understand if you guys hate me, but that doesn't mean i like it... I'll do whatever I can to make it up to you guys. *_* I love you guys both... it's tearing me apart. I guess that's all i can say. Ta Ta. <3kate. KeLLeN*<3 i loooooooove you!

Daddy's Little Defect. [14 Jun 2004|04:36pm] [ mood | depressed ] Okay I'll tell you guys about my not so wonderful, but yet KICK ASS WEEKEND! Friday Night-- Kellen spent the night as you guys all know<3 We got high. Ate. Went To bed.  Woke up at 9. brought him home around 10:30. yeah that was about it. *_* Saturday *_* Started off S-L-O-W! After me and my daddy took Kellen home we had to run to... Ride* Aide, Eds, The car wash, Empire Vision, Taco bell and home. We got home I called Samantha</3. Then Kathy called and asked if it was okay if Josh brought a friend. Which of course it was. So daddy let me invite someone, and Since Sam sounded sad... and yeah :-x be nice kate, I decided to invite JOyce up. We had so much effin fun. Josh's new nickname is White chocolate. He was trying to teach us "gangsta slang" haha what up homes? uhh then we had dinner which was funny (; and uhh after dinner I invited Matt over.. his new nickname is dumper. so it's dumper *n* white chocolate. If you sound it out it's kinda gross<3. We thought the boys would like it. We had a bomb fire. Kathy and Daddy went off. Matt and Josh had a nice little convo about sex and girls around the fire. We had a wrestling match. after. hmm and these are some other things that happened... Josh and I had a Mud fight, Joyce and I wrote on Joshy Woshy's shoe with lip stick, we went riding, Josh and I tried to teach Joyce how to drive, that did not go out very good (heh) she ran into my g*unit's berry bush ~_~, jumped on the trampoline, etc etc etc. Josh, Kathy, and Matt left at around 12. OHHH YESS! when me and Joyce came inside.. I had all of these messages. And Sam was being such a hypocrite. She would hate it if i said "I like hatebreed" because that's "Her" band. So Yes I was very unhappy When she had a coheed and Cambria thingy in her away message. Because She nor Steve heard about them before ME. And I had messages calling me a whore and anything else you can Imagine. Sam said I was being immature, but I'm not the one who had people IM me and bitch me out for her. heh she's so ** shut up kate. It makes me mad that she goes from "i love you katie marie" to "I hate you" which bugs me I can't lie. I do/ maybe did like Sam. and then for her to be like this kills me considering I didn't do ANYTHING to her. and Steve heh. Dustin was so right about him. heh. If he wants to be all rolled up with someone that cheated on him.. GO FOR IT. and I'm the hoe. I think not. Jesus. If  he likes sam so freaking much why doesn't she go out with him.. hmm I know why... BECAUSE SHE LOVES JEFF NOT STEVE. Ouch. Somebody Just got burnt. SO I'm the hoe.. heh well atleast I haven't cheated on my last two boyfriends that I so called "love" now that's a hoe for you. Uh I'm so angry I'm rambling. Uh and Joshy Woshy Went on my screenname and started to bitch at Steve because he left me an "I hate you, You're a whore" message. Josh was pretending to be my "homeboy" (;  yeah that was about all.. *_* Sunday   *_* * Happy Birthday Joyce Jo Jo bee<3 i love you* I went to Joyce's. We had some good ol' chineese food, and cake. Went to the Great Escape. We had oh so much fun. Joyce *n* I were being silly. We took some pics. The cam she bought was $18. that's crazy for a throw away one. We did ALL the coasters, got a little wet, Saw Some hott guy from the Egyption ride:: drools :: be he doesn't have anything on my Kellen<3 We got to ride the last train of the night for the commet.. How cool is that. we left at like 8:30 got stuck in a 1hr traffic Jam. Got back to Joyce's. Ate. Movie. Bed. *_* TodaY *_* I woke up at 6:45 got ready went to school. I took 3 exams. NOw I'm done for the year. I miss Kellen<3 I feel like I haven't seen or talked to him in FOREVER! ): Today was so long! Gosh. I got me some KFC though (: And some hott pink eye liner <3 I came home Talked to Krystle. Danielle my Savior. Kelly. Jess, Josh,  and Jeff</3. Tomorrow I have to babysitt Anthony. then come home. Anyone wanna do anything? that shall be all. ta ta. Kellen<3 my love for you is everlasting <3 <3kate ps- You've fucked with the wrong girl.

Good eye sniper. I shoot; you run. [11 Jun 2004|12:23pm] [ mood | chipper ] Yeah. I didn't go to school the last 2 days. It's kinda pointless if you ask me. heh. I do have to go back on monday though. Today I only had English and Math Finals and I'm failing both classes, and even if i pass the finals heh I still fail. SO yeah i didn't take them. Uhh I woke up at 11:30. Got some mother trucken Food. got online Talked to Dallas.. Aaron</3.. Terry .. Kelly .. and last but not least Dainelle. Uhhh I have to clean the litter box ): clean my room and Vaccum today before the good ol parentals get home. Then We're going to get kellen<3 he's spending the night. Then tomorrow. We have to bring kellen home, and Kathy and Josh are coming up (: uhh.. that's about it. I'll update tomorrow or Sunday to tell y'all how everything went. I love Joyce. I LOVE KELLEN. I love steve. I love TAtie. I love both my sams. I love Dallas. I love Danielle. I love kelly. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 that shall be all. ta ta <3kate ps- tell me if any of you wanna come up sat. or if there's some plans.(:

(: <3 (: [10 Jun 2004|02:59pm] [ mood | horny ] Daham i gots me a new livejournal. sorry i got sick of my old one. Okay I woke up at 6 am. And my g*unit was like what are you doing up? you don't have to be up till 9:30. I was like uh why? she goes because you have a gyno appointment. I was all can I just go to school and say we forgot about the appointment. And she said no. so I went back to bed and woke up at 9:30 got ready left. Went to the crotch dr. FUN! After I was all done I got me some chicken fingers from Burger King (: I came home and Talked to terry. He to didn't go to cool school. Uhh i got a new livejournal did my layout. Talked to my wife that I love<3 Talked to Katelyn me and her are going to hang out later. Uhh also talked to Sam and Joyce. I left Steve a message<3 and Uh yeah that was my day. Now I'm going to go get ready. Kellen<3333333333333 steve<3 <3kate

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